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"It's not broken,
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Presenting: the
Wacky World of Mumsy!
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Here Kitty Kitty...
I’m a firm believer in keeping pets groomed. My furry felines even go to the vet to have their teeth cleaned. And they all get brushed and combed once a week...whether they want to or not!I usually groom them one after another, in no special order, just whichever one I can grab first. Well, this particular day, I had finished three of my cats and was down to the last one, Jingles. Usually she was very good and didn’t give me any trouble, but for some reason, she decided she didn’t want to be brushed that day.Under the bed she went; under the bed I went after her. Jingles went left...I went left. Jingles went right...I went right. I was just as determined to catch her as she was to escape! However, with all the blankets and other stuff (junk) I had under the bed I quickly lost sight of her. Suddenly I heard, “Meow...meow.” I backed out from under the bed and there was Jingles sitting on top of the bed looking down at me triumphantly. Well, let me just say the look didn’t last long because I grabbed her and brushed that smile right off her furry lips!
Bathroom nights
Have I mentioned my cat MacIver’s condition before? He’s a mutterer. I’m not sure if it’s his breed, mostly Maine Coon, or just his personality. It’s not contagious, I know, because I have three other cats that don’t mutter!Anyway, since I had to get up early for work and knowing MacIver always started his evening serenade around midnight; I put him in the bathroom before I went to bed. My only bathroom.Guess what? The next morning I couldn’t open the bathroom door! It was locked...locked...locked...locked! MacIver had somehow locked the door from the inside when he pawed at the doorknob. For lack of anything intelligent to say, I stood there hollering, “MACIVER, open this door!” Plus a few choice expletives. For once, MacIver was speechless. Thinking fast (I had to think fast...I had to go!) I grabbed a screwdriver and finally got the door open. Luckily for MacIver it was just in the nick of time. That was the last time MacIver ever ended up in the bathroom. At least while I only had one! 
Just say 'tip'
Ah...senior prom, every high school teenager’s long awaited big night. Girls get excited, boys get nervous and finally everyone has a date to the prom.
Of course, before a prom there is the traditional ‘nice’ dinner. So my date and I and two of my girl friends and their dates decided to get together for dinner. Us girls were all dressed up in our prom dresses, the guys in their tuxes and dinner was going to be at a really nice restaurant. The kind with cloth napkins and a separate glass just for water! Wow...After a wonderful and slightly expensive meal it was time to divide the check three ways. I’m great with numbers so I offered to figure out the bill. Well, I was dividing up meals and adding the totals just fine until I saw an item that I couldn’t remember anyone ordering. Totally puzzled I asked, “Okay, who ordered the gratuity?” Being the inexperienced diners that we were, no one knew who had ordered it and when we questioned the item. To our uttter embarassment the restaurant manager explained that a ‘tip’ was included. Well, at least I didn’t have to figure a tip into each bill. I just divided the gratuity three ways!Mumsy (mum’zee) n. (female cartoon character)
1. wacky commentator on the lighter side of life 2. homespun humor, positive and uplifting 3. focusing on our frequently funny humanity 4.Happy-Go-Lucky
Mumsy (mum’zee) v. (pulling a Mumsy)
1. to pull a Mumsy 2. doing or saying humorous things 3. enjoying life and laughing at yourself
4. promoting self-acceptance through laughter
MUMSY defined
Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
Click...read...and find out!
Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
Copyright 2006, 2007, 2008 Bobbi G Enterprises, Inc., published by: Homestead. All rights reserved.
No monitor here
I’m not very computer savvy. In fact, you could say I’m computer illiterate. When I first started working we used typewriters. Even then, it was difficult for me to get comfortable with electric typewriters; I'd always felt like the darn machine started to type while I was still ‘thinking’ about what I wanted to say. Then some genius invented the personal computer! Great...now I was in big trouble. Refusing to use it, I held on to my electric typewriter for dear life, muttering under my breath, “They’ll never take you, they’ll never take you.” Finally, management sent a memo declaring the typewriter ‘obsolete’ and I had no choice but to be dragged into the 21st century. I had arrived.After a few months, while I was surfing the net, my daughter called me at work. She was telling me that she wanted to get a larger monitor to see her artwork better. In my best computer savvy voice I declared, “I don’t have a Monitor, I have a Computer Screen.” Oh well, my body might be in the 21st century, but my mind is still in the dark ages.EVERYBODY LOVES MUMSY!!
Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
Squeezing the bag
Several years ago when my daughter was just a teenager, she graciously agreed to go grocery shopping with me. Most teenagers don’t want to be seen with their parents in public. By the way, which DNA molecule causes that, and can it be removed before birth? Anyway, I always went grocery shopping on Tuesdays because that was ‘double-coupon’ day. And I always had plenty of coupons! You should see the coupon section of the Sunday paper after I’m finished with it! I’m ruthless.
Finally at the grocery store, we made our way to the produce department. Picking out some apples I put them in a plastic bag and just when I was squeezing the air out of the bag my daughter happened to glance in my direction. Curious she asked what I was doing. “I’m squeezing the air out of the bag so it weighs less.” I replied rather matter-of-factly. “So, how much does air weigh?” she asked. After frantically racking my brain for anything I could recall on mass and volume I replied defiantly, “I don’t know, BUT I’M NOT PAYING FOR IT!” I still squeeze the air out....I haven’t paid for it yet!Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
Cat covers
Once upon a time I had four cats. Three girls: PJ, Samie and Jingles and a boy named MacIver. Mostly strays I’ve rescued.Of course, they are all spoiled rotten. You should see my kitchen cabinets; I think I have more cat food than anything else. I’ve even been known to spend more time reading labels on their cat food then on the stuff I eat. Also, my cats are all ‘inside’ cats, so they never go outside and get dirty or anything. They are just spoiled, pampered and have the run of the house. Sounds just like a cat.So, when it’s time to go to bed of course, the cats are welcome to sleep anywhere on the bed. Usually, I like to sleep on my stomach. One night, however, I woke up panting and realized I could hardly breathe. I was sweating too and thought to myself, “Gee, it sure is hot in here.” Still groggy, I realized all four of cats were sound asleep on top of my back and legs. It’s a wonder I didn’t suffocate.Gosh, if I could train my cats to do that in the winter I would save on my heating bills!Have You Pulled A Mumsy Today?
EVERYBODY LOVES MUMSY!!
EVERYBODY LOVES MUMSY!!
